A couple of weeks ago, a sweet couple from our church invited us to come eat lunch with them after church. Now the invitation is a huge deal. Being the pastor's family, we don't get Sunday invitations. Ever. Something about not letting the pastor know you eat out on the Sabbath Day or something. Or maybe it has more to do with the whole thing of our family being nine in total. Yes, NINE. Not a typo. Anyway, it was the man's birthday, and his mother-in-law's 97 birthday. And they wanted us to celebrate with them. We of course we the last ones to arrive because we somehow couldn't get everyone picked up from nurseries, home from church, loaded up, and to the restaurant in a timely fashion. Thankfully, it was a buffet, so everyone had started without us. Some had even finished without us! We were taken to the back room, where more than 40 of their family members were talking and eating together. I was really feeling special, and therefore giving my older kids "the look". You know, the one that says, "if you embarrass me or do anything remotely disobedient, it will be your last act upon this earth!" You know, because the massive lecture the whole ride over wasn't enough. And as soon as the jackets were off, we were walked around the entire room and introduced, (nothing like trying to be inconspicuous)and praised for having such a wonderful, well behaved family. Thanks. Now the bar has been set REALLY high. Lunch was great. Even with having to walk a half of a mile to get to the buffet and back, the kids did everything they portray on TV. Yep, Ozzie and Harriet, move over. The Busters are now the new standard! And, so as not to shatter that perception, we left before the I-am-tired-and-needed-to-start-my-nap-two-hours-ago syndrome started.
Everyone is loading up into the van (yes, huge church van like van) and I was playing with Paulee. Ran my finger up her leg to tickle her and ran into a MASSIVE surprise. The child did not have a diaper on. Oh yes. My two year old daughter was going commando! I looked at her, completely dumbfounded. Never before had I been at such a loss for words. I finally sputtered out something along the lines of "Where on God's green earth IS your diaper little girl?!" To which she calmly replied, "Oh, I didn't need it. It was yucky. It's at home."
Really? How did my oldest daughter know there wasn't a diaper on the little one as she was buckling the car seat straps? How did my HUSBAND not know when he carried her into the restaurant?! How come my Mommy sense didn't kick in and tell me she was stark naked underneath all that pink dress?! Then I stand there (still in the rain) trying figure out how to get her home without getting, ahem, stuff, all over her car seat. Yes, it was Heath who pointed out we had a diaper bag with us, and could just put one of those on her. I was still back there with the visuals of the naked hiney dancing at me from the van.
And to complete the entire trip? Walked in the front door, Paulee looks over to the corner by the couch, "There it is! See? Didn't need it." Yeah. We need built in bloomers. Trust me.